I put myself out there again,
But I get nothing back,
What does it mean?
Did what I do not matter?
How will I know if what I’m doing is good?
I look a lot onto others,
I rely on their thoughts,
I’m a slave to them.
Why does it even matter?
Why do I care?
I keep asking but I get no answers,
I’ll always be searching if I can’t give it up.
I tell myself that nothing else matters,
As I keep getting worked up,
I give a fuck about what you say about me,
But I stress myself out,
If I feel like I can change,
I’ll do whatever it takes,
To be accepted,
To be respected,
To get this shit out of my head.
Why does it even matter,
Why do I care?
I keep asking but I get no answers,
I’ll always be searching if I can’t give it up.
Since my earliest memory,
I’ve always felt bad when I’m remembering,
Living up to the expectations,
What I thought was set up by my family,
I see know is my own reflections,
How I want to be,
All I want to see,
I’m sick of seeing everybody else make it,
Why can’t it be me,
How come I could never see that,
Why does it even matter?
Why do I care?
I keep asking but I get no answers,
I’ll always be searching if I can’t give it up.
Until I get it,
Everything clicks,
Perseverance leads to productivity,
How can I accomplish,
How can I contribute,
When I just don’t act?
So I will,
I’ll make it up the hill.